Have you ever lain in bed after your alarm went off, or sat slumped on the couch at 6:30 pm, still in your work clothes, trying to “work up the motivation” to get up and exercise?  

​

It’s exhausting and miserable, isn’t it? Harder than the actual workout. 

​

I see so many people hamstring themselves by adding a buttload of unnecessary emotional labour to the task of working out by placing this expectation on themselves that they must feel “motivated”. They usually burn themselves out very fast, because consistently feeling “motivated” for several weeks while you engrain a new habit/get through a rough patch is an absolutely herculean effort. In fact, it’s impossible about 99% of the time. 

​

But the good news is, you don’t need to do this. You don’t need to take on the mental strain of attempting to make yourself feel a way that you don’t- and if you let go of that, you’ll find you meet your fitness goals (or any other sort of goals) all the faster for it. 

​

Discipline- Your Key to Literally Everything

​

Something I often get asked by clients is how I “find the motivation”, or “summon the motivation” or whatever. The answer is that I don’t, and that I’m not concerned with “motivation”. I don’t need to have my heart beating the tune of “eye of the tiger” every time I’m getting ready to exercise, or working on a personal project, or what have you. I’m just doing the thing that I know I need to do in order to get the thing I want. Sometimes I’m enthusiastic and sometimes I’m not- and I give myself full permission to feel that way. I have more than once yelled “this suuuuuuuuuucks” at nobody in particular while running through snow in the dark (and then felt better). 

​

This works because the thing that’s actually going to carry you is discipline. 

A lot of people see discipline as a relatively rare innate talent that you either have or you don’t. If this were true, a whole lot more people who go into stuff like basic training would flunk out. Sure, some people have an easier time with it than others, and some people are starting from a better place than others, but almost anyone can develop self discipline. Take it from someone who has several of the disorders that commonly get used as ableist naysaying against the ability to develop it. 

 

Developing a new habit is difficult, especially if you haven’t actively decided to develop a new habit before. It can take weeks for it to really get engrained to the point that inertia starts working for you, and it becomes more difficult to not do the [thing]. Doing the thing in this time does inevitably take a certain amount of mental effort, and people mistake this mental effort for what discipline feels like, and assume that they’re going to have to put themselves through this for the rest of their lives. But this is not the case. Once that habit autopilot kicks in, discipline is what keeps the ball rolling to ensure it stays easy, even when life inevitably disrupts your routine. 

But of course, it’s not always so simple. For one, you may still be in the stage of developing that discipline. Or maybe your situation has changed in a way that’s asking more of you- for instance, your work schedule may have changed, so now you have to exercise at night when you prefer to do it in the morning, or vice versa. Or maybe the new semester is kicking your ass, and the last thing you feel like doing after your third lab of the day is going to the gym. 

​

This is where you’re likely to find yourself chasing that nebulous specter of “motivation”. But you will probably fail, because it doesn’t exist. You’re exhausted and have other things to think about. Of course you don’t “feel motivated”, and no force on earth is going to make you. So here is what you should do instead: 

​

Stop Policing Your Own Feelings

​

You know when you were a kid, and you were complaining about how you didn’t want to do something, and your parents responded with a slightly smirk-y “well, you don’t have to WANT to… but you still have to do it.” 

​

It sounds goofy, but that’s what you need to be telling yourself. When you catch yourself watching one more video, or doing one more household chore before you feel “motivated”- stop. Take a breath, relax, and allow yourself to feel the way you’re actually feeling. 

​

Let go of however you think you should feel, or how you want to feel. Let go of “motivation”. Whatever you’re feeling and/or thinking right now is completely fine. You don’t need to change it and you don’t need to worry about it. 

​

Tell yourself, “it’s OK that I don’t want to. I’m going to get up and go workout anyway, and however I feel while I’m doing it is completely OK too.” 

​

And then, feel the emotional burden come off your shoulders. Your workout just got a whole lot easier, seeing as you don’t have to carry it.